My mood has fluctuated wildly throughout the last few months because I’ve been on this wild ride ever since I got to NYC. Lots of ups and downs, as outlined above.
I’ve tried to define who I am by what I do, so having my job situation change so rapidly has been stressful to say the least. I’m typically pretty hard on myself, but lately, I’ve sometimes taken my frustration out on the people closest to me or shut them out entirely.
The frantic career pursuit had changed me. I felt humorless and detached - like I had lost some key quicket-component.
Then, I remembered that I’ve actually always defined myself by the people that I surround myself with. I’d been working so hard to prove myself that I nearly forgot how relax, open up, and let the inspiration flow from all directions. That’s what #xtmp is supposed to be about.
I’m changing perspective now, taking the time to really sort out who I am and what I want while opening back up to the people around me. I want to stand alone without leaning so hard on my friends, but it has to be a gradual and measured process.
Anyway, I think that I’m getting to the other side of that final rage face now, and it feels great.
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